Captain Ahab: For those in peril….

Club News | September 27th, 2016 | No comments yet

I recently watched on the Goggle-box a truly amazing, awe inspiring series of programmes.

And no it was not the Rio Olympics.rnli

It was not even the Rio Paralympics.

But about a group of ordinary people doing ordinary jobs who abandon whatever they are doing and leg it to the water’s edge whenever their bleeper starts to bleep.

For this was a documentary series about those work for the RNLI.

And when I say work, I mean those people who put their lives in peril at sea for those whose lives are already in peril.

They choose to do this.

And for this they don’t get paid.

Not a brass farthing.

Diddly squat.



Indeed it was so amazing that if I was a few years younger, well quite a few actually; a whole lot braver; a far better sailor; and lived far far closer to the water’s edge, I might have been beating a path to my local RNLI to ask how to join up.

As Boaters we all know how unpredictable the sea and winds can be.

And some of us will even know that even the best maintained boat can let us down from time to time.

Stuff happens

And when it does even the most experienced sailor may require the services of the RNLI.

Even Boaters.

But too often as the programme showed the bleepers went off to help eejits.

Usually with drink involved. Or drugs. Or just plain stupidity.

It seems that there is a fast chunk of the land lubbing population who have forgotten as we have evolved from water inhabiting creatures to a race that belongs on land, that H2O is dangerous.

And that if you have an IQ in double digits you should stay wall away from where the land meets the water.

Eeejits, in other words.

But to the brave boys and girls of the RNLI, even an eejit’s life is still worth saving.

Even an eejit’s life is still worth putting your own neck on the line for.

Not sure I could be as sanguine.

They don’t judge.

They just go about their business saving lives.

And that is why after every trip I make a donation to continue the work of the RNLI.

You never know when you just might need them.

Even eejits.

Captain Ahab



RYA – Top five boat insurance claims

Club News, Useful Resources | September 27th, 2016 | No comments yet

The RYA in conjunction with Bishop Skinner Marine have recently published an excellent article on the top five causes of insurance claims and perhaps more importantly, how to avoid them, you can read the article by following the link below:

RYA Top five boat insurance claims

Something that should be of interest to all active sailors!

Captain Ahab: Zzzzzz…

Club News | June 1st, 2016 | No comments yet

One of the glories of a Boaters Sailing Weekend, from whence I have recently returned, is that you get to sleep cheek by jowl with your fellow man or of course woman and Boater.


Indeed it would not be wrong to suggest that other than a Boater, only your partner might come closer when it comes to sleeping arrangements.

And nothing reveals more about a man or a woman than close proximity over an extended period of time.

Fortunately as yet there have been no reported cases of homicide, or even attempted homicide, between Boaters.

Which must mean we are a pretty decent bunch, all things told.

And having got up quite close if not personal to a broad range of fellow Boaters over many a sailing trip, I can now reveal sleeping alongside Boaters is an interesting auditory experience.

No two members emit the same volume of sound having reached the Land of Nod.

The worst are the Roaring Snorers.

When every inhalation and exhalation is accompanied by a sound that raises the decibel count to alarming proportions and registering 6 on the Richter Scale.

Never sail with these people without ear plugs and make sure you put them in before heading off to your bunk.

Some of you do indeed do this.

No one desiring a good night’s sleep wants to share a cabin or a saloon with these types. Indeed in my experience it is always best to keep the saloon between you and the Roaring Snorers.

At the other end of the spectrum are the Silent Sleepers. You don’t even know they are there, apart from a rhythmically gentle whooshing noise to show they are still alive.

Pleasant. Peaceful. Polite.

A crew of Silent Sleepers would guarantee an undisturbed sleep.

And then we have the Irregulars.

To some degree they might cause the most worry and concern.

With the irregulars you get a mighty burst of noise.

And then nothing. Still nothing. And more nothing.

The noise has woken you up.

The subsequent silence is unnerving.

Has something happened? Have they died? Have they had a stroke?

The silence continues. And continues a wee bit longer.

And just as you are about to get up to check, another mighty burst of noise emits from their bunk.

And the pattern continues. Through the night. Like Morse Code.

Roar. Silence. Silence. Silence. Roar. Silence. Silence. Silence. Roar. Repeat.

A fitful sleep is had by all with an Irregular on the boat.

And finally we have the Whistlers.

They mix gentle snoring sounds with an occasional whistle.

It can be quite harmonious if done right. Quite soothing. And sleep inducing.

A really good Whistler is like Roger Whittaker (remember him?). Less tuneful mind but with potential.

I’d settle for some of these in my boat.

Not too many unless they can harmonise. And that would be good to listen to.

Otherwise it sounds like a never ending boiling kettle.

And that would get annoying.

All that noise and no cup of tea from it.

I think that our new online booking form should ask you to state Snore Pattern.

After all how else are we going to get a balanced crew? And sleep.

Do you know your Zzzzzzzz Type?

Captain Ahab




Captain Ahab:

Club News | March 23rd, 2016 | No comments yet


*Smiley face*

What has happened to Boaters in past few weeks? It seems we have now joined the 21st century.


I don’t know about you but Boaters has to me always been joyously old fashioned. But it now seems we have joined the digital age.


It is now possible to sign up for courses and sailing weekends online. And to pay for them too.

Whatever next?

It’s just like Amazon.

But without books and downloads and constant e-mails full of recommendations.

Maybe this is being worked on.


And so far we have not yet got One Click technology.

Still it’s a start and I am sure that our Committee have this in hand.

I hadn’t realised we had elected a Committee of computer geeks at our last AGM.

*Smiley face*

We may not have the best sound system but we might have the best technology.

I suppose they call this progress.


But our Committee hasn’t stopped there.

We now have a Facebook page.

Not being an aficionado of Facebook I am not sure how well this is being used.

But wouldn’t it be great if we could post photos from our trips there. I know how skilled we are when it comes to taking classy photos.

And we could even use our Facebook pages to swap hints and tips. And sea yarns. And Emergency Meal recipes.

Hopefully we won’t see pictures of cats in lifejackets. Not under our name at least.

What is it about Facebook and photos of cats?

And now we have started to tweet.

I find Twitter strange. There is no way I can say all I want to say in 140 characters. I am far too loquacious.


But if you want to stay up to date with all things Boaters and to get some handy tips and advice, Facebook and Twitter do seem the place to be.

Alternatively you could wait to get the monthly e-mails from our Secretary.


But then you would miss out on all the fun going on among our Facebook and Twitter community.

You would have no reason to check your phone every few seconds.

No one to follow or tag or like.

Nothing to RT.

No photos of cats in hats. Or life jackets.

It can’t be too long before we get down there with the kids and are signed up to other social media channels like WhatsApp, Pinterest and Snapchat or Vine.

Whatever these might be.

I really don’t know how we have managed to sail all these years without any of these things.

I am sure it is just a matter of time.


*Smiley face*



Captain Ahab

Captain Ahab: The sun will come out tomorrow!

Club News | February 21st, 2016 | No comments yet

I am getting a wee bit fed up with the all the rain and leaden skies.
Every day we get up to more winds, rain and storm warnings. It really is getting quite depressing.
I yearn for blue skies and a crisp, cold, snow bearing north wind roaring in from Siberia and the Arctic.
Is this what they call Global Warming?

And has anyone else noticed but it is only since we started to give names to our storms that we have had so many.
And I would also like to point out that we have not had Storm Ahab. Yet.
However with this weather Boaters people are actually very well prepared. Better than the rest of the population.
And this is brilliant given our proximity to rivers that flood.

I don’t know about anyone else but when I now go out to my local Waitrose, Tesco or Lidl (other supermarket brands are available) I never venture out unless clad in full Oilies and sailing boots. I would observe that few others are as well equipped.I have even been known to add my lifejacket to this ensemble when theweather has been particularly severe. It might get funny looks from other shoppers but you can never be too careful these days and I am sure the RNLI and the Marine Coastguard Agency would approve.

Better safe than sorry, as many a Boaters Skipper has said to me, as we put in all three reefs in anticipation of the breeze stiffening from Force 2 to Force 3 the day after tomorrow.
But I must admit it is not easy squeezing into and driving a car in full wet weather gear and lifejacket.

But I am now going further.

Given the worsening and continuing bad weather I have started giving a full safety briefing to the assembled household whenever weather warnings issued. For any place in the country.
I want all risks minimised should we be venturing out. Everyone to know their role in the event that something might go awry.
It is now standard practice to be clipped on to jackstays that have been fitted when moving from house to car. Especially at night.
And lifelines must be worn at all times when driving in any wet weather that has been baptized and named.
Some of you may think that this is going too far but it is what we would do when on board and these days the edges between H2O and terra firma are becoming decidedly blurred.

I am taking no chances.

And this weekend I have organised a man overboard drill in the garden in the event that anyone coming to the house might stumble off the path to the house and end up in the watery lawn.
Just turn up if you feel you need to practice.

We might even run a Boaters Sea Survival Course where once there was my lawn. Tell me if interested.
Let’s just hope that the need for such precautions might come to an end soon.
And hope too that, in the words of ‘Annie’, the sun will come out tomorrow.
Before my feet become webbed.

Captain Ahab



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