Enjoy the experience of off shore sailing...

Does anyone remember ‘Howard’s Way’?

Of course you do.

Given the age of many members of Boaters, and hopefully you will not consider me rude when I raise this issue, but I would be rather surprised if many of you did not remember this Sunday evening TV staple.

It had a role in inspiring me to take to the water.

For those of you too young to know what we are talking about, or who have a tendency to erase naff TV from their memory banks, a little memory jog might be in order. Running through the late 1980s in the slot now reserved for ‘Call the Midwife’, this TV drama was set in the yachting community based on a town that looked remarkably like Hamble (Probably because it was filmed in Hamble!)
And it featured tales of extra-marital affairs, dirty business dealing and power dressing.
It is best described as cheesy.

But in those days we only had 4 channels to choose from. We lacked iPads. We didn’t have Facebook or Twitter and SnapChat to amuse us. So it got pretty decent ratings.

Quaint.

There wasn’t much sailing done, from memory, but the clothes were always stunning. Especially the shoulder pads.
And even the men were well dressed. And tanned. And medallioned.
Lots of navy and white. Always well pressed. Always cool.
It was power dressing on steroids.

Now think back to your last Boaters weekend.
How much navy and white did you see? How many people packed a blazer? How many wore dazzling white deck shoes? How many of us were sporting shoulder pads under our Bromsgrove Boater gilets?

This is only a guess but the answer is probably not a lot…

I don’t know about you but one of my great thrills in life is wondering prior to each Boater’s meeting if the AV equipment, i.e. the laptop and sound system, is going to work.

And for those of you thinking that if this is the excitement highpoint of my life each month, and I need to get out more – you would be right…

But do you not get a frisson of excitement as the speakers rise to their feet to talk and present to us? Do you not wonder if the equipment this month is going to work?
And every month we get asked ‘Is this thing on?’ and ‘Can you hear me?’
The answer to which is usually no and no.

And given our age as a group, even Brian Blessed would need amplification to satisfy the aural expectations of us all, should he decide to pay us a visit.

This is a great shame as, unlike many who might speak to us, and I would include the Committee here, he at least would have a fighting chance of being heard by us all. And without amplification.

Why is it so difficult for us to get everything in full working order?
It is not as if we need Glastonbury Festival-like sound after all.
All we need is to link a laptop to a projector and know how to turn on Powerpoint.
And provide some straightforward amplification.

It should be simples.

But I wouldn’t change a thing.
I would not want to see our Membership monies splurged on an easier to use sound system.
Like a megaphone.
Nor do I want to see the introduction of tedious pre-meeting sound checks.
One-two-one-two.
And it would be silly for a venue of our size to have a fully qualified sound engineer with hi-tech mixing desk in attendance at our meetings.
Where would be the fun if we did any of those things?

I would miss the rising anticipation in advance of every meeting. The wonder. The excitement.
And those of us in the cheap seats in the hall would miss our monthly flutter on what will work perfectly this time.

Will it be the sound?
Will it be the laptop?
Will it be both?

Please, please, please don’t change a thing.
We love it just the way you are.

For reasons that are too boring to recite I have been looking into a wide spread of yacht clubs recently.
And I am struck by the number that are called Royal something-or-other Yacht Club.
I am not sure how many there are. But there are a lot. At least 50.

Now as seasoned Boaters we will all have heard of the Royal Yacht Squadron.
And the Royal Thames Yacht Club, the oldest continuously sailing yacht club in the world.
And we may even have heard of the Royal Corinthian Yacht Club.
But there are some amazing places that have Royal Yacht Clubs. Places you will never have thought likely.

Now you would have expected places like Plymouth and Southampton, with their long and fine maritime tradition, to be favoured by the royals.
But what did Portsmouth do that was so wrong that it has not been so favoured. It is after all the home of Her Maj’s fleet. Or what’s left of it these days.
This slight is even more surprising when you consider that the yacht clubs at Gourock and Harwich are preceded by the magic word. Have you ever been there? I would doubt very much if Her Maj or any of her predecessors have paid more than a fleeting visit there either.
Sure they are on the coast but they do somewhat lack the ritz and glamour of Cowes.

But this has got me thinking.
Don’t you think that the Royal Bromsgrove Boaters Yacht Club has got a nice ring to it?

I think we should get the Committee onto this and make it a priority . Never mind the polo shirts, gilets and caps. Make us Royal.
If the yachties of Gourock can become a Royal so can the Boaters of Bromsgrove.
But how do you apply? Do you download an application form from somewhere? How much is the subscription?

This is not all clear. Association or some sort of linkage with the Royals is about all I have been able to uncover.
My research that has highlighted that Bromsgrove does boast ‘The Queens Head’ and it does overlook water, albeit the canal.

And The Princess Royal, that’s Ann, once came to the town.
And many Boaters have worked On Her Majesty’s Service, in one guise or another. Say no more. Wink, wink.
So it should be a dawdle for the Committee to get us into the Royal Family.
I am practising my curtsy skills already.