It may not have escaped your notice that this is awards season.
And every week it seems the stars of stage, screen and TV set queue up in their designer rented outfits to stroll down the redcarpet, to feign undeserving humility and to blub uncontrollably as they thank all and sundry for the gong they have just collected.
You can win a Golden Globes, a Brit, a Bafta, a Tony, an Oscar and no doubt some other person’s name.
But I would like to suggest to our Social Committee that we should have awards.
We could call them The Boaties or the Yachties or something similar.
Or how about a Tom, after Mr Cunliffe, a perennial Boaters favourite. And inspiration to many.
I for one would welcome the chance to totter down a red carpet one evening to the Rugby Club in my best Jimmy Choo’s and the latest Vera Wang creation.
We could have the lights, the envelopes, the speeches, the total awards package.
Now this is not as far-fetched an idea as it might sound.
We have already had the award for Best Photographer and following the recent quiz, the Cleverest Boater.
We just need to expand on the idea a bit and develop the categories.
Naturally we would have an award for Best Sound. But as in previous years it is likely that there would be no nominations for this award.
Best Costume would be a shoo in.
The hot favourite would be the design team behind the Boaters team outfits as modelled by our Committee at our monthly gatherings. I doubt there would be much competition for this one.
After that it might get a bit tricky.
And while the Oscars might have categories for Best Supporting Actor and Best Actor and Best Director, we would need to have Best Mate (or is that a horse?) and Best Skipper. It would be tricky to call the winner of those awards, or even the nominations.
Similarly it would be tight to call the winner of the Best Meal, Best Cruise and Best Social. Quite frankly we would be spoilt for choice.
And while we are not known for our comedy and side splitting moments, the tale of one hapless Boater trying singlehandedly to haul his boat alongside against wind and tide to the amusement of the other crews, must be a hot favourite for the Comedy Award.
I think this would be a great evening.
And surely far more interesting than discussing our Constitution yet again.
Wouldn’t it be great to see us all glam just for one night?
To stroll down the red carpet into Bromsgrove Rugby Club with flash bulbs going off all around.
And to see our prize winners feign delighted surprise and to hear them, assuming we have sound, thank their family, their crew, the RYA, Ben Ainslie, Lord Nelson, Francis Drake, their therapist for being there for them and inspiring them to win this award.
And to watch hardened Skippers and Mates shed a tear as they clutch their Tom? Or does that sound rude.
Now that would be a great evening.
And on that note I am off to share this brilliant idea with our Social Secretary.
And to prepare my unprepared acceptance speech for when our esteemed Commodore opens that wee gold envelope and announces ‘And the winner is…..’
Damn.
Now smile hard, look as if I’m pleased, and try harder next year.
