It has been with a deal of Schadenfreude that I have been following the tales in recent weeks that have been coming forth from FIFA’s head office.
For those mono linguists among you we are talking about ‘delighting in the misfortunes of others’.
But it has been shocking to read about the bribery, the corruption, the nefarious underhand dealings that have been going on.
Of World Cups that have been bought; of hand balls that were erased from history by the swift transfer of money; of committee members lining their own pockets at the expense of the so called beautiful game.
Allegedly.
(We are advised by Boaters’ lawyers that we must use that word to save us from libel.)
But could you imagine what might happen if Bromsgrove Boaters behaved like FIFA?
And this is not to suggest that our Commodore is a Sepp Blatter. Or that our Committee behaves like the FIFA Executive Committee.
(Again we must say this for the avoidance of doubt and to stay out of the courts.)
Now there are some differences admittedly between Boaters and FIFA.
We only charge £15 pa for membership.
We are not sitting on reserves in excess of £1bn.
And as far as I know we have little in the way of broadcasting and merchandising rights with which to fill our coffers and the boots of our Committee.
Although surely the rights to our natty collection of Boaters’ polos, gilets and fleeces might bring in a bob or two.
Maybe we should be told who owns the rights to these.
Just in case.
But we should still be on our guard.
For as Acton said ‘Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely’.
Or we could sell the rights to host a Boaters sailing weekend. No doubt the marinas in Plymouth, the Hamble and Haslar would jump at the chance to be the Boaters destination of choice.
And a members vote would be the perfect opportunity for a spot of graft and corruption.
I wonder if we could get Qatar involved.
Or maybe we could find funds being distributed to the Malvern voting bloc to ensure this year’s photography competition goes to someone whose photograph might not be the best.
You just never know.
But fortunately Boaters is not like FIFA. And hopefully it never will be.
For one thing we meet in Bromsgrove.
And last time I looked there is no record of Bromsgrove being a tax haven shrouded in secrecy.
The Lickeys are not the Alps.
And of course we are all just too nice and honest.
So we can all breathe easy.
